I've spent this week at an institute and I have had to stay on a college campus. Thank God it was air conditioned! During my stay I've noticed a few things about myself...interesting things.
This summer I rededicated myself to me. I decided this summer that in order to fully give myself to someone else, I have to fully give myself to me first. If you truly don't respect yourself, you allow others to disrespect you.
I have never met the people I'm working with, but I would venture to guess everyone thinks I'm a strong-willed individual and I wouldn't take crap from people because I respect myself. If I had met these people two months ago, they would not have thought the same thing. I carry myself in a different manner. I walk with my head up...unless I'm texting and walking (dangerous by the way!). I'm not scared to offer my opinion. It's called an opinion for a reason, it isn't wrong. No one can make you feel wrong about your opinions unless you let them.
I don't like to sit for long periods of time. It never quite bothered me before, but I've been very active this summer. I spend at least two hours a day at the gym. This week, the gym was not an option for me. I had to research and write essays til the early hours of the morning. It was a week for the brain, not the rest of my body! At the end of the day my brain is tired, but my body is wired! I haven't exerted myself this week. I've been on the elliptical twice this week and that was at the beginning prior to getting myself immersed in scholarly activities. I wonder what will happen to me when I return to the classroom (IN TWO WEEKS!) -- will I be one of those bounce around the room teachers? Or will I revert back to my old ways and have no energy when the day is done for no reason?
Eating healthy is expensive. I would spend about $10 on lunch everyday and I would get a salad and a baked potato. My not so healthy minded colleagues would pay far less than I and get some delicious looking, yet quick to the hips, fattening food. This just doesn't make sense to me. I think they should charge people more to eat that junk! Not only should it make you fat, it should empty your pockets. I think that could make people a little more conscience of their lifestyles. It's frustrating to think that people with a low socioeconomic status end up overweight. This isn't a matter of option necessarily. Their only option at times is to buy junk. Junk which has little to no nutritional value. These same people probably don't have the money to spend on a gym membership (well...that's no excuse not to exercise...but you get the point) either, thus making the junk they ate really stick to their body!
My body is used to being active. I must maintain this lifestyle. It will be difficult, but for the betterment of me, it has to be done. I am on a path to self betterment. I truly believe I have seen the struggle within myself come out and I'm finally fighting to save me. Am I doing this for myself? Of course, but it also has other incentives. By losing weight and feeling better about myself, I'm truly a happier person. I'm confident. I'm proud of myself because I've done this. When I'm happier, I'm nicer. I was a bitter person, not giving of my time or patience. I now I have time and patience to give to my family. I'm not bogged down by my insecurities. I'm secure in myself and my vision to get where I want be. I'm actually half way there and it's only taken me a summer. I'm hoping by Christmas I can finally open the true present of life. ME.
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